||[Oct. 22nd, 2007|03:50 am]
I moved back home around the 1st of September or so. I found some fucked up shit, and left Jackson for good. It's been really hard being back here...alone. REALLY hard. I didn't suspect it would be this hard, but who does when it comes to a breakup right?
I thought I was ready, I thought I could handle it. But then I found out news, that I kinda suspected for a while anyways but didn't want to accept.
I mean, I don't mean to sound retarded, or like every other girl.
I thought I'd be with Britton for a really long time. Well, I guess 2 years constant is a really long time but, eh. I really do miss him, given the shit he's done to me, I do.
And I don't know why. Because he fucked me up, real bad.
And I shouldn't be the one second guessing my decision, right? I did the right thing. Everyone knows I did the right thing. But that doesn't make it any easier does it. It's still all pretty hazy. I can't get used to living here, without him in my life. I know I sound like a broken record, forgive me.
I just don't know what to do with life anymore. I really don't.
It's great seeing friends again regularly. Really great. I've missed them. They don't make up for what I'm missing though.